Integrative Psychotherapy and Family Constellations
LATE BLOOMERS
Redefining well-being through the best practices of Jungian psychoanalysis
Late bloomers – our time to shine
“Whether it was work, marriage or family, I’ve always been a later bloomer.” Sigourney Weaver
This is a topic close to my heart since I am a late bloomer myself. We are on a journey that takes a little more time, a little more work and awareness, and a bucket of patience.
There is so much pressure to do and be everything before you actually know what you want to do or even who you want to be. Our journey may be slower, but it is one that has been travelled with awareness, and along the way, we have gathered experience and wisdom. Sometimes our paths may not always be clear, but each step is taking us closer. Everything happens in its time, and with late bloomers, we succeed at our own pace.
Many of our gifts only unfold later in life; after all, life certainly doesn’t end at 40!
Honor your timing
We tend to think that if we have not achieved what society expects us to achieve early in life that we are running behind or are missing out on something. We are definitely not missing out or running behind, each one of us has our journey to travel, and our only comparison should be between who we are today versus yesterday.
Anthony Hopkins has some compelling insights on believing in yourself. In one of his videos, he refers to a story where there is a drought and people and cattle are dying. A Shaman tells the people to dig the ditches for the rain; when they reply there is no rain, the shaman says, “Dig the ditches, and the rain will come.” It is all about believing in yourself and preparing for what you want to come.
As Anthony Hopkins says, “Believe, believe, believe in yourself.”
View his inspiring video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLuiruce9qE
Validate your hardships
Life is not fair, and for some of us, the journey may be harder. Our hardships mould us into who we are; they build character and perseverance. Nothing worthwhile or sustainable comes easily. As they say, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
We often minimise our hardships, but we should acknowledge them and the role they have played. We must see them as obstacles that we have overcome and be careful not to fall into the trap of dwelling in self-pity. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, but that doesn’t mean the journey is not cold, lonely, or hard, right?
“A winner is a dreamer who never gives up.” Nelson Mandela
The social approval paradigm
We need to change the social approval paradigm and untie our self-esteem from the need for social approval. Believe me, I know first hand what a struggle this can be. The grass is always greener on the other side – especially when viewed through a filter. We are inundated with success stories on various social media platforms; everyone seems to be succeeding at an alarming rate, and we fear we won’t be able to catch up or match up. But it’s crucial to remember that generally, no one posts about their hardships or failures while they are happening, and anyone can look fabulous through a filter.
We must measure our success by our own standards. We must strive to be a better person than we were yesterday. Each day holds its successes and challenges, and we can wallow in self-doubt and self-pity, or we can stand strong and believe in ourselves.
Take time to reflect on all that you have achieved, and remember achievements come in all sizes!
Parenting with wisdom
“There is no such thing as being the perfect parent. So just be a real one.” Sue Atkins
Late-bloomers often feel they have left it too late to be a parent, but nothing could be further from the truth. There is something about being a parent later on in life as you are able to walk into parenthood with greater awareness and intention – qualities that will make you an exceptional parent.
As a parent, you are responsible for moulding the life of another and for preparing them for adulthood. It can be a daunting task for anyone, but when your journey took a little more time, a little more work and awareness, and a bucket of patience, you are far more well-equipped to be a parent than you were in your 20s.
Experience, wisdom, and patience lend themselves to effective parenting, and holding a life in your hands is a responsible job, one that needs to be done with care.
Listen to your inner voice
We get caught up listening to everyone else and forget to listen to ourselves. It takes awareness and patience to learn to listen to what feels right for you. Trust yourself first, for you have everything you need to succeed in life; you just need to grasp it.
It goes back to what Anthony Hopkins said, “Believe in yourself.” Because if you don’t, you are probably believing in someone who doesn’t believe in themselves. Why do we think other people are more likely to be right when we all have an innate inner wisdom at our disposal? We know ourselves better than anyone else and, as a result, are far better positioned to make the right decision for ourselves; we just need to be self-aware and listen. Or, as they say, “Go with your gut.” Trust yourself!
“Be still. The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” Ram Dass
Late bloomers rule!
A wise person once said (I have to believe they were a late bloomer) “Never worry about the delay of your success compared to others because construction of a palace takes more time than an ordinary building.”
Age is just a number and should never define you. Late bloomers rule –
- Gladys Burrill completed the Honolulu Marathon when she was 92
- Julia Child wrote her first cookbook when she was 50
- Ian Fleming wrote the first James Bond novel when he was 44 years old
- Martha Stewart published her first book when she was 41
- Vera Wang only decided to become a designer when she was 40
The list goes on and on. As a late bloomer, I can look back and be proud of what I have accomplished. I did it at my pace. I did it my way. If you believe in yourself, there are no limits to what you can achieve!!
